Includes bibliographical references and index.

Introduction -- pt. 1. The yearning to be understood -- 1. "Did you hear what I said?": why listening is so important -- 2. "Thanks for listening" : how listening shapes us and connects us to each other -- 3. "Why don't people listen?" : how communication breaks down -- pt. 2. The real reasons people don't listen -- 4. "When is it my turn?" -- the heart of listening : the struggle to suspend our own needs -- 5. "You hear only what you want to hear" : how hidden assumptions prejudice listening -- 6. "Why do you always overreact?!" : how emotionality makes us defensive -- pt. 3. Getting through to each other -- 7. "Take your time -- I'm listening" : how to let go of your own needs and listen -- 8. "I never knew you felt that way" : empathy begins with openness -- 9. "I can see this is really upsetting you" : how to defuse emotional reactivity -- pt. 4. Listening in context -- 10. "We never talk anymore" : listening between intimate partners -- 11. "Nobody around here ever listens to me!" : how to listen and be heard within the family -- 12. From "Do I have to?" to "that's not fair!" : listening to children and teenagers -- 13. "I knew you'd understand" : being able to hear friends and colleagues -- Epilogue -- Index -- About the author.

"This thoughtful, witty, and empathic book has already helped over 100,000 readers break through conflicts and transform their personal and professional relationships. Experienced therapist Mike Nichols provides vivid examples, easy-to-learn techniques, and practical exercises for becoming a better listener--and making yourself heard and understood, even in difficult situations"--Cover, p. 4.